Barry Rose
Proposal Essay
Eng. 11 Dr. Tinberg
Childhood Obesity - A Big Problem
In 2008, more than one-third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese. Childhood obesity is a growing problem that needs to be addressed. Rates have tripled over the last three decades and will continue to grow unless parents take action. Today, 17 % of children ages 2-19 are obese. This statistic can be prevented from rising by changing your children’s habits. Eating healthy and exercising are two answers for the problem of childhood obesity.
Children are not the only one’s accountable for childhood obesity. Parents must take responsibility for their children’s health. They do not realize the consequences later in life by becoming obese at a young age. It can cause the development of type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and can take up to 5 years off your life. We cannot expect children to worry about these risks later in their lives that is up to you as parents.
A healthy diet is an easy and affordable fix. Instead of soda, have your children drink water or juice. Each additional soda consumed increases the risk for obesity by 1.6 times. Avoid eating fast food because it is full of calories and fat. Eating a healthy home cooked meal cost approximately the same as it would to eat takeout. Every child loves snacks, so provide healthy choices instead of chips and cookies. Fruits, cheese, and crackers are a much healthier option. Sitting down for dinner also helps children eat healthy. By eating with your children, you are able to monitor what they are eating and give them a good example of you eating healthy as well.
The cost of grocery shopping for a week is very inexpensive. You can feed your family healthy meals for the same price, if not cheaper, that it would cost to order take out every day. By preparing your own meals, you can dictate exactly what and how much your child eats. Making it very easy to make sure your child doesn’t over eat, or eat junk food.
Another solution to help parents take control of their children’s weight is to limit TV and video games. It is extremely important your children get exercise for at least 55 minutes a day. Take them outside to play a sport, go for a walk, or a bike ride. Finding fun activities that require your child to exert energy is a great way to help your child stay in shape. Try not to make it seem like a chore to exercise, make it enjoyable for your child and you will get results.
Another great way to get your child to exercise is to get them involved in a youth sports league. Not only will this get your child exercise but it will also give then self esteem. Depression is another cause of obesity. A great way to prevent that is getting your child to interact with other kids, and have fun. Playing a sport promotes comradery and can help your child develop friendships. These friendships can keep your child from falling into a depression.
Every example of how to help stop, slow down, and prevent childhood obesity are cost effective. It will take only your time and not your money. There is no reason why you can’t help improve your child’s life. You must make the choice to save your child from obesity. If you don’t, you are putting their lives at risk. I am challenging you to take control of your child’s health. If you don’t, no one will.
Work Cited:
In 2008, more than one-third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese.
Dr. Ed Guillery, “Local Experts Address Childhood Obesity” The Columbian (Vancouver, Washington)
October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web
Rates have tripled over the last three decades.
Dr. Ed Guillery, “Local Experts Address Childhood Obesity” The Columbian (Vancouver, Washington)
October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web
Today, 17% of children ages 2-19 are obese.
“Doctor: Childhood obesity a 'personal tragedy'” Messenger-Inquirer (Owensboro, Kentucky) Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Business News October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web
Peer Review Reading Journal
ReplyDeleteDuring our writing workshops, you’ll be working with a “critical partner,” someone who will read your work seriously and offer constructive comments. Please offer your response to your partner’s draft, using this template as a guide (you may add responses not prompted here as well). On the last day of the workshop, I’d like you to bring one hard copy to class and post another copy on your partner’s blog. As with the Textbook Reading Journal, I’ll be grading your work according to the following criteria:
• Appropriateness to the question
• Relevance and precision of detail from the reading
• Fullness of your response
• Depth of insights
Thanks for agreeing to help a classmate and for being a respectful reader.
Reviewer’s Name: Ashley Taylor
Date: 11/7/2011
Partner’s Name and Title of Paper Reviewed: Barry Rose & Proposal
In your own words, fully and with precision, describe what the assignment is asking the writer (your partner) to do? Please use your own words rather than merely quote from the assignment.
This assignment is asking my partner Barry to write a Proposal. To write a problem that is global and is also locally. He is to state the problem, explain it and to come up with a practical solution and to explain the benefits of the outcome of the solution. He is to use research to help back up the problem and solution and to cite he got specific information, facts, etc.
To what extent has your partner met the expectations of the assignment? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what works well there. Again, try to use your own words.
My partner Barry did a very good job at meeting the requirements of this assignment. He stated a clear problem with a solution to the
problem and the outcome of the solution. Barry included the intended reader as “the parents”. Barry used very helpful facts and statistics
Related to the problem from his research, for example: in the first paragraph first sentence “In 2008, more than one-third of children and
Adolescents were overweight or obese. This fact also gave him a strong and clear introduction. Not only did Barry give a clear solution but he gave examples on how to use the solution for example: in the 3rd paragraph 2nd & 4th sentences “Instead of soda, have your children drink water and juice…avoid eating fast foods because it is full of calories and fat.” He did a good job of identifying the cost and benefits of the solution for ex. In the 4th paragraph first & second sentences…”The cost of grocery shopping for a week is very inexpensive. You can feed your family healthy meals for the same price, if not cheaper, that it would cost to order take out of every day.”
What area needs more work? Why? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what isn’t working.
What would need more work in the essay I would say would be…maybe to add some facts of the outcome and of eating healthier and exercising, not just why they should. Also to add the in text citation would help improve the credibility. & I also think that explain a solution to how to motivate your child to agree with you on eating healthier and exercising because not all children will want to unless their convinced.
Please indicate TWO questions about the draft and at least ONE suggestion for ways to improve it.
Two questions I would have would be…
1. How do you motivate your child? If he/she does not want to agree with eating healthier and exercising.
2. What about in school or at a friend’s house? Not all places eat healthy..what should the child do then?
My one suggestion to improve this essay would be to make the essay more local. It is a global problem but maybe link it with someone you know or from the area…more personal.