Reflective Cover Letter - 2nd Draft

Barry Rose

12/12/11

Reflective Cover Letter

The four assignments I chose for my portfolio are my I Believe, Application, Profile, and Proposal. I chose these essays because I enjoyed writing these the most. I had a passion and interest for writing all four.

The criteria for the “I Believe” essay was to describe how your believe was formed, and how it has been tested. I was also asked to use anecdotes to describe and show my belief. Dialogue and detail was an important part of the paper to give credibility of my belief. A strong closing was also required to really drive home how and why my belief is so important to me.

The reason I chose this paper is because I feel extremely strong about this essay. It is true to me and I live by everything I described in this assignment.

Changes I made to this paper over time was adding an explanation of what Chrone’s disease is. I also told the reader how my health is now 2 years post surgery, and 1 year after the problems with my liver. I rebuilt some sentence structures and moved some information around to help the reader fully understand my belief.

The second paper I chose to include is my “Application” essay. In this assignment I was asked to find a college application letter and answer is. I was asked to give the question at the top of my paper and what school it was from. A topic sentence was asked in each paragraph. Facts and evidence were required to explain why I chose the college and why I should be accepted to that college. I needed to leave a good impression on the college of why they need me at their school.

I included this essay in my portfolio because that I am going to submit this to Bridgewater State University. I believe that it is a strong paper that truly describes reasoning for the school accepting me, and my passion in the field I want to study in.

Changes I made to this paper was explaining how Bridgewater State University can help me reach my goal of becoming a Phys Ed teacher.

My third essay chosen for my portfolio is the “Profile”. Criteria for this paper was to give an engaging lead to grab the reader’s attention. A strong physical description is very important to give the reader a solid mental picture of what the subject looks like. A nut graf is very important to the paper because it gives the reader all the information needed to explain who my subject truly is. Quotation’s from my subject and anecdotes about him are also required to back my facts and information. A strong closing to drive home the type of person my subject is must also be in the essay.

The reason I chose this paper for my portfolio is because my subject was my father. I believe I gave good facts and reasoning for who my father is and why he is that way. I used anecdotes to back my information.

One change I made to this paper was the physical description. I went farther into detail of what he looked like, and even gave an example of why he had some features.

The fourth paper I chose for my portfolio is my “Proposal”. In this assignment I need to specify who my intended reader was. I needed to state a clear and direct solvable problem. I also had to give a practical solution to this problem. Research was needed for this paper to give evidence drawn from a reputable news source to fully explain the problem. A call to action is needed in the paper to let people know they can stop this problem, and how they can do it. My sources had to be cited in MLA style at the end of my paper, and in text citation was also required.

I chose this assignment because I believe I chose a very important issue in our society today. I also believe that I gave solid and clear solutions to the problem that are all cost effective. This problem could start an immediate decrease if our society took the small steps that I stated in my paper.

Changes I made to this paper was adding more information to further back my explanations. I also moved some information around to make it easier for the reader to understand.

“Analyzing a Trend” is the last paper I am adding to my portfolio. Criteria for this assignment was to clearly state an increase or decrease in a specific trend. State the participants in this trend and give a precise period of time this trend occurred. I must also show the degree of change over time and explain why this trend has increased or decreased. I have to provide evidence for this trend, taking information from at least 2 scholarly articles and document them in MLA form, and with in text citations. I had to also explain the causes and effects for the trend, and give a strong closing that states the importance of the trend.

A change I have made to this paper from my first draft was adding more information from another scholarly article. I wanted to give more information about the disease itself, and not just how it’s trending. I also added more MLA citations to show where I got my information from.

I believe that I have had great progress as a writer over this semester. I have not had to write a paper in almost a decade, and I felt a little lost writing in the beginning of the year. Now I feel much more comfortable. The assignments at the beginning of the year, I felt myself checking the number of words, to make sure I had enough done for the assignments criteria. By the end, I was checking to make sure I didn’t have too much. I began to find it easy to put my ideas onto paper, and give a clear paper following the guidelines asked. 

Portfolio

Barry Rose         

12/12/11

Reflective Cover Letter

                The four assignments I chose for my portfolio are my I Believe, Application, Profile, and Proposal. I chose these essays because I enjoyed writing these the most. I had a passion and interest for writing all four.

                The criteria for the “I Believe” essay was to describe how your believe was formed, and how it has been tested. I was also asked to use anecdotes to describe and show my belief. Dialogue and detail was an important part of the paper to give credibility of my belief.  A strong closing was also required to really drive home how and why my belief is so important to me.

The reason I chose this paper is because I feel extremely strong about this essay. It is true to me and I live by everything I described in this assignment.

Changes I made to this paper over time was adding an explanation of what Chrone’s disease is. I also told the reader how my health is now 2 years post surgery, and 1 year after the problems with my liver. I rebuilt some sentence structures and moved some information around to help the reader fully understand my belief.

The second paper I chose to include is my “Application” essay. In this assignment I was asked to find a college application letter and answer is. I was asked to give the question at the top of my paper and what school it was from. A topic sentence was asked in each paragraph. Facts and evidence were required to explain why I chose the college and why I should be accepted to that college. I needed to leave a good impression on the college of why they need me at there school.

I included this essay in my portfolio because that I am going to submit this to Bridgewater State University. I believe that it is a strong paper that truly describes reasoning for the school accepting me, and my passion in the field I want to study in.

Changes I made to this paper was explaining how Bridgewater State University can help me reach my goal of becoming a Phys Ed teacher.

My third essay chosen for my portfolio is the “Profile”. Criteria for this paper was to give an engaging lead to grab the reader’s attention. A strong physical description is very important to give the reader a solid mental picture of what the subject looks like. A nut graf is very important to the paper because it gives the reader all the information needed to explain who my subject truly is. Quotation’s from my subject and anecdotes about him are also required to back my facts and information. A strong closing to drive home the type of person my subject is must also be in the essay.

The reason I chose this paper for my portfolio is because my subject was my father. I believe I gave good facts and reasoning for who my father is and why he is that way. I used anecdotes to back my information.

One change I made to this paper was the physical description. I went farther into detail of what he looked like, and even gave an example of why he had some features.

The fourth paper I chose for my portfolio is my “Proposal”. In this assignment I need to specify who my intended reader was. I needed to state a clear and direct solvable problem. I also had to give a practical solution to this problem. Research was needed for this paper to give evidence drawn from a reputable news source to fully explain the problem. A call to action is needed in the paper to let people know they can stop this problem, and how they can do it. My sources had to be cited in MLA style at the end of my paper, and in text citation was also required.

I chose this assignment because I believe I chose a very important issue in our society today. I also believe that I gave solid and clear solutions to the problem that are all cost effective. This problem could start an immediate decrease if our society took the small steps that I stated in my paper.

Changes I made to this paper was adding more information to further back my explanations. I also moved some information around to make it easier for the reader to understand.

“Analyzing a Trend” is the last paper I am adding to my portfolio. Criteria for this assignment was clearly stating an increase or decrease in a specific trend. State the participants in this trend and

Analyzing a Trend - 2nd Draft

Barry Rose         

12/3/11

Analyzing a Trend

                The health of our children’s lives is in danger. Childhood obesity is a growing problem in our community as the rates keep rising. In 2008, more than one-third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese. (Guillery) Childhood obesity is a growing problem that needs to be addressed. Rates have tripled over the last three decades and will continue to rise unless parents and children take action. (Guillery) Today, 17 % of children ages 2-19 are obese.

            There are many causes for this trend. One cause is an unhealthy diet. Our culture is always in a rush. Not as many people sit home and have a healthy cooked dinner. Many people choose the quicker and easier way and get fast food, or order out. Unfortunately this is also very unhealthy. Soda is also consumed at a much higher rate. Soda is also very unhealthy. Many children also choose to eat very unhealthy snacks such as chips, candy, and chocolate. These are filled with sugars, fats, and calories.

            Parents need to try and create healthier food options for their children. Take the time to cook a healthy dinner at home. Don’t buy soda or unhealthy snacks, instead buy milk, water, and juices for drinks, and fruits and vegetables for snacks. Give your children healthy options and eliminate the unhealthy ones and they will start to make the right decisions on their own.

            Another cause for the rise of childhood obesity is the lack of exercise. With so many technological toys, video games and movies, children are no longer getting the exercise they need. Instead of children doing outdoor activities and burning fat and calories, they are staying indoors. Children should get at least 60 minutes a day of exercise, and instead, most are getting close to none. Computer play and video games are taking over. Children would much rather stay indoors and play those games, rather than use energy playing physical games outside.

            Parents need to make sure that their children get exercise somehow. Only allow children time playing games indoors if they have played outside for a certain amount of time. Make an afterschool schedule of doing home work, then an outdoor activity, dinner, and then maybe some video game play. Parents could also take time to play with their children, perhaps play catch, go for a walk, or go for a bike ride. Having activities to do with your kids will encourage them to do some on their own. Creating good healthy habits for your children is important for their health and well being. Getting your child involved in sports is another way to make sure your child gets the exercise they need.

            The effects of Childhood Obesity are very bad. It can cause the development of type 2 diabetes which can be deadly to children. Type 2 diabetes in children is a chronic condition that affects the way your child's body metabolizes sugar (glucose). Type 2 diabetes was once called adult-onset diabetes. Due to the rise in children with this disease because of childhood obesity, it is now called type 2.  This is directly related to heart disease, stroke, kidney failure, high blood pressure, and blindness. The emergence of type 2 diabetes in childhood and adolescence is alarming, especially when one considers the long-term public health and societal ramifications as these patients progress to chronic complications, potentially at a very young chronological age. (Copeland)

            Our future is at risk of having bad health. Our children must be saved from the rising trend of Childhood Obesity. Action must be taken to stop this disease. Parents and children need to take the correct steps of diet and exercise to end the rise of this trend and begin its decline.

           

           

Work Cited:

In 2008, more than one-third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese.

Dr. Ed Guillery, “Local Experts Address Childhood Obesity”  The Columbian (Vancouver, Washington)

October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web

Rates have tripled over the last three decades.

Dr. Ed Guillery, “Local Experts Address Childhood Obesity”  The Columbian (Vancouver, Washington)

October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web

Today, 17% of children ages 2-19 are obese.

“Doctor: Childhood obesity a 'personal tragedy'” Messenger-Inquirer (Owensboro, Kentucky) Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Business News October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web

The emergence of type 2 diabetes in childhood and adolescence is alarming, especially when one considers the long-term public health and societal ramifications as these patients progress to chronic complications, potentially at a very young chronological age.

Kenneth C. Copeland, MD, Dorothy Becker, MD, Michael Gottschalk, MD, PhD and Daniel Hale, MD

“Type 2 Diabetes in Children and Adolescents: Risk Factors, Diagnosis, and Treatment” American Diabetes Association, DiabetesJournal.org

Analyzing a Trend

Barry Rose         

12/3/11

Analyzing a Trend

                The health of our children’s lives is in danger. Childhood Obesity is a growing problem in our community as the rates keep rising. In 2008, more than one-third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese. (Guillery) Childhood obesity is a growing problem that needs to be addressed. Rates have tripled over the last three decades and will continue to rise unless parents and children take action. (Guillery) Today, 17 % of children ages 2-19 are obese.

            There are many causes for this trend. One cause is an unhealthy diet. Our culture is always in a rush. Not as many people sit home and have a healthy cooked dinner. Many people choose the quicker and easier way and get fast food, or order out. Unfortunately this is also very unhealthy. Soda is also consumed at a much higher rate. Soda is also very unhealthy. Many children also choose to eat very unhealthy snacks. Like chips, candy, and chocolate. These are filled with sugars, fats, and calories.

            Parents need to try and create healthier food options for their children. Take the time to cook a healthy dinner at home. Don’t buy soda or unhealthy snacks. Instead buy milk, water, and juices for drinks, and fruits and vegetables for snacks. Give your children healthy options and eliminate the unhealthy ones and they will start to make the right decisions on their own.

            Another cause for the rise of Childhood Obesity is the lack of exercise. With so many technological toys, video games and movies, children no longer get the exercise they need. Instead of children doing outdoor activities and burning fat and calories, they are staying indoors. Children should get at least 60 minutes a day of exercise, and instead, most are getting close to none. Computer play and video games are taking over. Children would much rather stay indoors and play those games, rather than use energy playing physical games outside.

            Parents need to make sure that their children get exercise somehow. Only allow children time playing games indoors if they have played outside for a certain amount of time. Make an afterschool schedule of doing home work, then an outdoor activity, dinner, and then maybe some video game play. Parents could also take time to play with their children. Perhaps play catch, go for a walk, or go for a bike ride. Having activities to do with your kids will encourage them to do some on their own. Creating good healthy habits for your children is important for their health and well being. Getting your child involved in sports is another way to make sure your child gets the exercise they need.

            The effects of Childhood Obesity are very bad. It can cause the development of type 2 diabetes which can be deadly to children. Type 2 diabetes in children is a chronic condition that affects the way your child's body metabolizes sugar (glucose). Type 2 diabetes was once called adult-onset diabetes. Due to the rise in children with this disease because of childhood obesity, it is now called type 2.  This is directly related to heart disease, stroke, kidney failure, high blood pressure, and blindness.

           

Work Cited:

In 2008, more than one-third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese.

Dr. Ed Guillery, “Local Experts Address Childhood Obesity”  The Columbian (Vancouver, Washington)

October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web

Rates have tripled over the last three decades.

Dr. Ed Guillery, “Local Experts Address Childhood Obesity”  The Columbian (Vancouver, Washington)

October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web

Today, 17% of children ages 2-19 are obese.

“Doctor: Childhood obesity a 'personal tragedy'” Messenger-Inquirer (Owensboro, Kentucky) Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Business News October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web

2nd Draft - Annotating a Scholarly Article

Barry Rose         

11/26/11             

Annotating a Scholarly Article

            “Framing the mother: Childhood Obesity, Maternal Responsibility and Care”   JaneMaree Maher, Suzanne Fraser and Jan Wright

Centre for Women’s Studies Gender Research, School of Political and Social Inquiry, Monash University, VIC 3800, Australia; University of Wollongong, Australia (Received 10 February 2009; final version received 3 November 2009)

Journal of Gender Studies Vol. 19, No. 3, September 2010, 233–247

               

In this essay, Maher, Fraser, and Wright explain how there is too much blame placed on mothers, and not enough placed on fathers for the cause of childhood obesity. They believe fathers should take more action in their children’s diet and exercise. Also stated as a large cause for childhood obesity is the lack of family home cooked meals. Another cause occurs before a child is even born. Maher, Fraser, and Wright believe that the mother’s diet and exercise are crucial in preventing childhood obesity and other health problems like diabetes.  

Maher, Fraser, and Write make many good points of the many causes of childhood obesity. They explain the reasoning for the growth of this problem, and give solutions on how to fix it. The authors work for credible University’s such as the School of Political and Social Inquiry, Monash University, and the University of Wollongong. I believe the article is intended for more than just parents, instead all of America. This is a nation wide problem, and is going to take everyone to fix it.

Annotating a Scholarly Article

Barry Rose         

11/19/11             

Annotating a Scholarly Article

            “Framing the mother: Childhood Obesity, Maternal Responsibility and Care”   JaneMaree Maher, Suzanne Fraser and Jan Wright

Centre for Women’s Studies Gender Research, School of Political and Social Inquiry, Monash University, VIC 3800, Australia; University of Wollongong, Australia (Received 10 February 2009; final version received 3 November 2009)

Journal of Gender Studies Vol. 19, No. 3, September 2010, 233–247

               

In this essay, Maher, Fraser, and Wright explain how there is too much blame placed on mothers, and not enough placed on fathers for the cause of childhood obesity. They believe fathers should take more action in their children’s diet and exercise. Also stated as a large cause for childhood obesity is the lack of family home cooked meals. Another cause occurs before a child is even born. Maher, Fraser, and Wright believe that the mother’s diet and exercise are crucial in preventing childhood obesity and other health problems like diabetes.  

Maher, Fraser, and Write make many good points of the many causes of childhood obesity. They explain the reasoning for the growth of this problem, and give solutions on how to fix it. The authors give credible sources and work for credible University’s. I believe the article is intended for more than just parents, instead all of America. This is a nation wide problem, and is going to take everyone to fix it.

Proposal - 2nd Draft

Barry Rose

Proposal Essay - 2^nd Draft

Eng. 11 Dr. Tinberg

Childhood Obesity - A Big Problem

In 2008, more than one-third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese. (Guillery) Childhood obesity is a growing problem that needs to be addressed. Rates have tripled over the last three decades and will continue to grow unless parents take action. (Guillery) Today, 17 % of children ages 2-19 are obese. This statistic can be prevented from rising by changing your children’s habits. Eating healthy and exercising are two answers for the problem of childhood obesity.

Children are not the only one’s accountable for childhood obesity. Parents must take responsibility for their children’s health. They do not realize the consequences later in life by becoming obese at a young age. It can cause the development of type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and can take up to 5 years off your life. We cannot expect children to worry about these risks later in their lives, that is up to you as parents.

A healthy diet is an easy and affordable fix. Instead of soda, have your children drink water or juice. Each additional soda consumed increases the risk for obesity by 1.6 times. Avoid eating fast food because it is full of calories and fat. Eating a healthy home cooked meal cost approximately the same as it would to eat takeout. Every child loves snacks, so provide healthy choices instead of chips and cookies. Fruits, cheese, and crackers are a much healthier option. Sitting down for dinner also helps children eat healthy. By eating with your children, you are able to monitor what they are eating and give them a good example of you eating healthy as well.

The cost of grocery shopping for a week is very inexpensive. You can feed your family healthy meals for the same price, if not cheaper, that it would cost to order take out every day. By preparing your own meals, you can dictate exactly what and how much your child eats. Making it very easy to make sure your child doesn’t over eat, or eat junk food.

Another solution to help parents take control of their children’s weight is to limit TV and video games. It is extremely important your children get exercise for at least 55 minutes a day. Take them outside to play a sport, go for a walk, or a bike ride. Finding fun activities that require your child to exert energy is a great way to help your child stay in shape. Try not to make it seem like a chore to exercise, make it enjoyable for your child and you will get results.

Another great way to get your child to exercise is to get them involved in a youth sports league. Not only will this get your child exercise but it will also give then self esteem. Depression is another cause of obesity. A great way to prevent that is getting your child to interact with other kids, and have fun. Playing a sport promotes comradery and can help your child develop friendships. These friendships can keep your child from falling into a depression.

Every example of how to help stop, slow down, and prevent childhood obesity are cost effective. It will take only your time, not your money. There is no reason why you can’t help improve your child’s life. You must make the choice to save your child from obesity. If you don’t, you are putting their lives at risk. I am challenging you to take control of your child’s health. If you don’t, no one will.

Work Cited:

In 2008, more than one-third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese.

Dr. Ed Guillery, “Local Experts Address Childhood Obesity”  The Columbian (Vancouver, Washington)

October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web

Rates have tripled over the last three decades.

Dr. Ed Guillery, “Local Experts Address Childhood Obesity”  The Columbian (Vancouver, Washington)

October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web

Today, 17% of children ages 2-19 are obese.

“Doctor: Childhood obesity a 'personal tragedy'” Messenger-Inquirer (Owensboro, Kentucky) Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Business News October 1, 2011 LexisNexis Academic. Web